MY JOKES FOR YOU,FEEL IT

1.This morning my Director walked into the office and caught the Manager kissing his Secretary. In his anger he shouted "is this what I pay you to do?" The Manager nervously answered "no Sir; THIS I DO FREE OF CHARGE!"

2.Johnny said to his mum " mum do you know that our house-help Comfort is an Angel?" Mum replied "how do you mean". Well Johnny started "yestaday when you went to the market, I saw Comfort naked in Daddys room shouting ouch- god am cumming. If not for dad that held her tightly by the waist, we would have lost her to heaven by now" Immediately the woman faited.

3.Paul was dying of an un-known illness. His wife sat at the bedside comforting him. He looked up and said weakly, "I have something I must confess." "There's no need to," his wife replied. "No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, and your best friend!" "I know, I know," she replied. "Now just rest and let the poison work"

4:Marriage is the chief cause of divorce At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, 'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?' The other replied, 'Yes, I am, I'm married to a wrong man"

5.Twenty Four hours After United States concluded the Presidential election. The winner Mr Barack Obama is celebrating his victory. The Nigerian President has just arrived the United state with his entourage to congratulate him. "This is really a surprise" said Obama to the Nigerian President "American are advanced, they know the results immediately after the election" "See You" replied the Nigerian President. "We Nigerians are more advanced, we always know the result even before the election". lol

6.manageress a company executive decided to stop by
her husband's office.
On entering the office, she saw the females
secretary sitting on her husband ’s laps.
In order to defend himself knowing he has
been caught red-handed,
the husband said shouting “budget cut or
no budget cut, management must do
something. I and my
secretary cannot be sharing this office with
just a single seat"!!

7.After getting all of the Pope's
luggage loaded into the limo
(and he doesn't travel lightly),
the driver notices that the Pope
is still standing on the curb.
The Pope was still standing on
the curb.
"Excuse me, Your Eminence,"
says the driver, "Would you
please take your seat so we can
leave?"
"Well, to tell you the truth," says
the Pope, "they never let me
drive at the Vatican, and I'd
really like to drive today"
"I'm sorry but I cannot let you
do that. I'd lose my job! And
what if something should
happen?" protests the driver,
wishing he'd never gone to
work that morning.
"There might be something
extra in it for you," says the
Pope.
Reluctantly, the driver gets in
the back as the Pope climbs in
behind the wheel.
The driver quickly regrets his
decision when, after exiting the
airport, the Supreme Pontiff
floors it, accelerating the limo to
105 mph.
"Please slow down, Your
Holiness!!!" pleads the worried
driver, but the Pope keeps the
pedal to the metal until they
hear sirens.
"Oh, dear God, I'm gonna lose
my license," moans the driver.
Bigger
The Pope pulls over and rolls
down the window as the cop
approaches, but the cop takes
one look at him, goes back to
his motorcycle, and gets on the
radio.
"I need to talk to the Chief," he
says to the dispatcher.
The Chief gets on the radio and
the cop tells him that he's
stopped a limo going a hundred
and five.
"So bust him," said the Chief.
"I don't think we want to do
that, he's really important," said
the cop.
Chief exclaimed, "All the more
reason!"
"No, I mean really important,"
said the cop.
The Chief then asked, "Who ya
got there, the Mayor?"
Cop: "Bigger."
Chief: "Governor?"
Cop: "Bigger."
"Well," said the Chief,"Who is
it?"
Cop: "I think it's God!"
Chief: "What makes you think
it's God?"
Cop: "He's got the Pope for a
limo driver!"