Defense Attorney:
Will you please state your age? Little Old Lady:
I am 86 years old. Defense Attorney:
Will you tell us, in your own words,
what happened the night of April 1st? Little Old Lady:
There I was, sitting there in my swing
on my front porch on a warm spring
evening, when a young man comes
creeping up on the porch and sat down
beside me. Defense Attorney:
Did you know him? Little Old Lady:
No, but he sure was friendly. Defense Attorney:
What happened after he sat down? Little Old Lady:
He started to rub my thigh. Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him? Little Old Lady:
No, I didn't stop him. Defense Attorney:
Why not? Little Old Lady:
It felt good. Nobody had done that since
my Albert died some 30 years ago. Defense Attorney:
What happened next? Little Old Lady:
He began to rub my breasts. Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him then? Little Old Lady:
No, I did not stop him. Defense Attorney:
Why not? Little Old Lady:
His rubbing made me feel all alive and
excited. I haven't felt that good in years!
Defense Attorney:
What happened next? Little Old Lady:
Well, by then, I was feeling so 'spicy'
that I just laid down and told him
'Take me, young man. Take me now!' Defense Attorney:
Did he take you? Little Old Lady:
Hell, no! He just yelled, ' April Fool!' And
that's when I shot him, the little bastard
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